Christmas can be stressful, can’t it?
As soon as the pumpkin pie is passed around at Thanksgiving, my mind starts racing toward December. One minute I am feeling grateful and cozy, and the next I am mentally making lists, checking calendars, and wondering how the holiday season got so full so quickly.
It usually starts with a little whisper.
“Pssssst, hey you. Yes, you.”
It is that familiar voice of Christmas stress and holiday guilt.
Its job is to keep me awake when I should be sleeping. It reminds me of every unfinished task, every gift I still need to buy, every dish I should prepare, and every family tradition I feel pressured to keep alive.
There is so much to do. How can I possibly sleep when the Christmas dinner menu is not finalized?
Christmas is stressful.
Did I clean the tile around the guest bathroom toilet? You know how it is when the house is full of family and the kids have been running in and out all day.
Christmas is stressful.
What should I buy my nieces and nephews? Will they like their gifts? Am I going to be remembered as the boring aunt? Are they still annoyed about the time I corrected them at the family gathering?
Christmas is stressful.
Oh no, I forgot to make the reindeer antlers for the school Christmas program. Do stores even sell those at the last minute?
Christmas is stressful.
My family is a little wild. Actually, if I am being honest, I am a little wild too.
Christmas is stressful.
And around and around it goes.
Somewhere along the way, many of us begin to carry the belief that we have to do everything in order to make Christmas merry. Not only do we think we have to do it all, but we also think it should be done beautifully, perfectly, and tied up with a shiny bow.
We take the kids to the mall, the park, the church event, or wherever Santa happens to be sitting this year because the Santa photo feels like one of those holiday traditions we are supposed to check off the list. Do the kids always want to sit on Santa’s lap? Not exactly. But we wait in line anyway, because that picture feels important.
Then our children finally get to the front of the line. Instead of running toward Santa with joy, they suddenly cling to our legs like they have been glued there. They are crying, hiding, and looking at us as if we have completely forgotten every rule we ever taught them about strangers. In their minds, this man has a fake beard, a red suit, and a lap everyone is insisting they sit on. No wonder they are confused.
Parents, you know this scene well. At that point, we are sweating through our holiday sweaters. We bargain. We plead. We promise candy, ice cream, screen time, or anything else that might earn us half a second of eye contact with the camera.
Isn’t this fun? No. It is not always fun.
And yet, we tell ourselves it is worth it because they probably will not remember the chaos. At least we will have the photo.
Then there are all the seasonal treats we feel we must try because they only appear once a year. The festive drinks, the cookies, the special desserts, and the appetizers at every gathering all seem to call our names. By the time January arrives, many of us are already thinking about meal plans, new routines, or that gym membership we swear we will finally use.
Let’s be honest. We might start on January 2nd.
Holiday parties fill the calendar. Children stay up far past their bedtimes because we are visiting with family and friends we may only see once or twice a year. The routines slip. The house gets loud. Everyone is tired, but no one wants to miss out.
We buy toys our children may not truly need. I am completely guilty of this. Sometimes they would rather play with the box, the wrapping paper, or a kitchen spatula. Still, we shop because we love them, and because part of us feels like buying gifts is one of the things we are supposed to do.
And then there is family. During the holidays, family tension can rise quickly. Sometimes it is a disagreement, sometimes it is an old story that gets brought up again, and sometimes the gathering just feels awkward for no clear reason. My dad used to say, “You can pick your nose, you can pick your seat, but you can’t pick your family.” As a teenager, I mostly thought that was gross. As an adult, I understand exactly what he meant.
We gather around while extended family opens Christmas presents, quietly hoping our child will not be the one to say something painfully honest. Because if you have spent enough Christmas mornings with relatives, you know it happens.
I still remember the year a younger cousin opened a gift and said, “Wow, Grandma, socks. How would I ever have guessed?” Then she rolled her eyes. The entire room froze. You could almost hear every aunt and uncle inhale at the same time. The silence that followed was the kind no one knows how to fix. She was quickly escorted away from the scene, while the rest of us cousins sat there in shock, secretly impressed that she had actually said it out loud.
For the record, Grandma, the socks were practical, and we did appreciate them.
All of this holiday craziness is normal. Some of it is wonderful. Some of it is exhausting. And still, it is fair to admit that Christmas can be stressful.
We could look at the season as a time that brings debt, family arguments, clutter, extra calories, packed schedules, and emotional pressure. But that is not the whole story, and it is certainly not the best way to experience the holidays.
So let’s look at Christmas from a better perspective.
No matter what our traditions or beliefs may be, many of us celebrate because we are longing for meaningful moments. We want memories that happen only once a year. We want the glow of Christmas lights, the excitement of children, the comfort of familiar recipes, and the feeling of being pulled closer to the people we love.
The holiday season can feel like a warm scarf wrapped around the heart. Yes, it can be busy and messy, but it can also be beautiful. The challenge is learning to separate what truly matters from what only looks important.
If you need a reminder, watch a child looking at Christmas lights. Notice the wonder in their eyes when they see a simple package under the tree. Of course, you may also be silently praying they do not unwrap it while you are in the bathroom on a random Tuesday morning. That is understandable too.
Over the next few weeks, maybe we can look for the small things worth celebrating. The quiet cup of coffee before the house wakes up. The favorite ornament that always makes us smile. The recipe that reminds us of someone we love. The laughter that happens when plans fall apart and everyone is too tired to pretend otherwise.
The sparkle, the shopping, the decorations, and the perfectly wrapped packages can take a quieter place in the background. They do not have to run the entire season. They will still be there, but they do not have to steal our peace.
We can reduce some of the holiday stress by paying attention to the moments that matter most to us. Not the moments we think we are supposed to create for everyone else, but the ones that actually bring joy, connection, and meaning.
Let’s enjoy Christmas. Find the childlike wonder of the season. Breathe. Smile. Rest. Sleep.
Before the holiday chaos really begins, take a little time to decide what makes this season special for you. Is it baking with your kids? Watching a favorite Christmas movie? Going to a candlelight service? Driving around to see the lights? Hosting dinner? Staying home in pajamas? Whatever it is, let that become your focus.
The shopping will get done. The meal planning will come together. The gifts will be wrapped, even if some of them are placed in bags with tissue paper at the last possible minute. Christmas does not have to be perfect to be meaningful.
I hope this Christmas season brings you a little less pressure and a lot more joy. I hope your days are filled with happy chaos, warm memories, and enough quiet moments to remember why this time of year matters.
And remember, everyone, and I mean everyone, has a cousin Eddie.
P.S. If you are trying to keep your sanity during December, make-ahead holiday appetizers and a simple Christmas dinner menu can make the season feel much more manageable.
